What’s the second most important line when it comes to your email newsletters?
How are you?
Last year a man unsubscribed from my email newsletter because the first words I wrote were ‘how are you?’ He said he was leaving because he hated newsletters that started that way.
Have you ever lost a subscriber like that?
My unhappy reader didn’t say any more. I don’t know if he felt it was over friendly, or insincere, or if he was having a really bad time and my ‘how are you?’ had just reinforced quite how bad it was.
I know how he feels. Newsletters that are over personalised are a turn-off for me. (Repeat my name in the body of the text and I’ll be really irritated with you.)
But I also like newsletters that feel personal and chatty. It’s a very tricky line to tread. So how do you get it right when you’re writing your own newsletter?
The most important line in your newsletter is the email subject line. It should include a strong benefit, ask a relevant question, or spark curiosity. Clearly mine had done the job and intrigued him enough to open it. Great! But then I’d lost him for good. Not good.
The second most important line
The second most important line is the first line of the body of the newsletter. If the headline makes a promise, that first line needs to show that you’re going to deliver on it. Maybe for my disgruntled ex-subscriber, a simple ‘how are you?’ felt like a big let down. I’d promised to tell him how to write better copy, and here I was shilly-shallying around with small talk.
Personally, I think a short ‘how are you doing?’ or similar is a fine way to start. I like my newsletters to feel like a conversation, so weaving some short conversational phrases into the fabric of a newsletter feels okay to me. It says, ‘this is going to be an easy read, written from me to you.’
Setting the scene
Similarly I think a short scene setting line is useful, sometimes. That’s where the British obsession with the weather comes into play, or the changing seasons, or recent events. Make this line sensory or unexpected or funny and you’ll grab attention. While the focus of the newsletter needs to be on the reader - sharing ideas and information that will be useful to them - it’s okay - good even - to show that this is something new that you’re writing. Something that says, this is current, hot off the press. If you’re using your newsletter to help build a community, then it’s okay to share a little snapshot of your life too. Some people like being shown behind the scenes, so a tiny slice of reality can be good.
Likewise starting with a short story, something memorable and relevant, can be a neat start. (Although like writing fiction, cut straight to the action. If the first line feels like it’s taking the reader on an irrelevant tangent many people will hop straight off again.)
Other times though - in fact most times - you’ll want to leap straight into the main body of the email.
Relevance + empathy = a great opening line
To make the newsletter feel as though it’s all about them you’ll want to make that first line empathetic. That means talking about the subject head on, but framing it from your reader’s perspective.
For example, I might start an email with :
‘Are you turning off your readers in the first line?’
‘If you find your newsletters aren’t hitting the mark….’
‘No matter how many times I’ve done it, cracking that first line of a newsletter always takes me longer than it should. How about you?’
‘Chatty or concise? Why is it so hard to get the balance right in your newsletter?’
A line or two that blend together the subject of the newsletter, with your reader’s specific challenge is an economical and friendly way to get people quickly engaged with the body of the newsletter. It shows you’re going to deliver on the promise of your subject line, and that the content is tailored for them.
And that’s the job of that vital second line, to get the reader to read on to the third, and then the fourth, and so on.
The power of you
The key thing to get into that opening line is ‘you’. Address the reader directly.
Write as though you’re stepping into a conversation that’s already happening in your readers’ mind, and lead them naturally onto your next line. It might feel like a bit of a leap - you might be tempted to put some wordy padding around it - but your reader will almost certainly thank you for getting straight to it.
Questions are a tried and tested way of joining a conversation and making it feel empathetic, don’t you think? You’re not barging in and talking about yourself, rather you’re turning the attention onto the reader and seeing the world from their point of view. Remember, your subject line will have piqued their interest - they’ve opened it for a reason - so don’t let anything get in the way of delivering on that promise. The challenge or the question you’ve that you’ve alluded to in your headline has captured their attention. Keep that attention by staying focused on the subject, and making it all about them.
Strong newsletter opening lines are:
Conversational
Relevant
Empathetic
Concise
Engaging
If you want to improve your newsletters, start with a bit of research. Pull apart a good one - a newsletter you enjoy that feels as though it was written just for you - and see how it’s constructed. Pay attention to the techniques the writer has used to grab and keep your attention, and play around with your own opening lines.
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